I’ve only had a handful of men (or boys) I’d even considered my boyfriend before I landed myself a husband. Not to say there weren’t quite a few dates, but a date here and there does not a relationship make. There are three out of that handful that ever even utter the “I love you” phrase with any gumption and emotion behind it. One of them was my husband. The other two were the epic life milestone dating mistakes.
First “boyfriend” (I put that in quotes because we were more than dating but we were never “official.” Deep down, I think it was because I never wanted to be) was the giant Senior year high school mistake. This boy had it for me baaaad. I could take him or leave him. I didn’t actually know what I was doing at this point. I was so busy with sports and other things I never got super serious with any boy. This one, he was different. He showed interest. He was cute. I was sick of being single. Relationship began.
Graduation slowly crept up and I was over being semi-taken. I wanted to be free in college and explore the world of cute college guys. So I let him know. He countered this with a prompt, “I love you.” I think he said this because all the girls want to hear that (plus prom was coming up and you know what that means). I just stood there.
We soon parted ways. It was a forceful parting. I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He, however, couldn’t let go. He had “it” so bad for me, that after I moved into my college dorm, I sent my dad to the cell phone store to get me a new number. This boy did not leave me alone.
Then shortly after Freshmen year began I met my 2nd boyfriend randomly one night in our dorm’s common area. He lived on 1st floor and I on 3rd. Over that next year we became the best of friends. Eventually towards the end of Freshman year we made our relationship official. It was a textbook college romance.
When we moved out of our dorms for the summer, he went to Rochester and I went to the Twin Cities. We were destined to spend the whole 3 months apart—except for the sporadic trips we made to see each other. Often meeting in random places halfway between our two home towns (broke college students, ya know?). We always arrived with mix-CD’s in hand to ease each other through the time apart.
In those spans we talked on the phone every night. Since he grew up in Austria, he taught me German by writing me little “love” notes for me to decipher. We always bid farewell with “Ich liebe dich.” The German way to say it. Finally, after moving into the dorms again to start our Sophomore year, we could be inseparable again.
It wouldn’t last. He dropped me rather suddenly and I was totally blindsided with a side of depressed. I was so head-over-heels for him (or his foreign childhood? Or his “rock star” quality since he was the drummer in two bands…I don’t know). He apologized a week later telling me he made a terrible mistake, he does really love me. He wants me back. I refused. I was too hurt. Somebody that really loves you, doesn’t make you feel like shit.
After a year or so of angst, and re-finding myself again as a single lady, I met my husband. This time I knew it was different. I’ve never been so taken by just a glance. We met at a random bonfire in my friend’s sister’s backyard. It was perfectly low-key. No bar scenes, no friends of friends hooking us up. Just paths crossing (later he told me he felt the same way too). That night we made out. Then he asked for my phone number as we pecked good-bye.
The next morning, I knew for sure that I had blown it. I was so caught up in the moment and so enthralled by this guy, I lost myself (which was a first). I never kiss on a first date and this wasn’t even really a date for goddsakes. We just met! I knew he’d never call me since he probably thought I was a skank-whore who makes out with all the guys or something.
Still I hoped. A week had passed and my cell phone was never more than 2 feet from my side. Nothing. Precisely 8 days (he didn’t want to seem “desperate”) after our first meeting, he called and asked me on a date! We were like giddy school girls on the phone (once I said yes). Over the next 3 months we went many dates and did a lot of hanging out at each other’s places and with each other’s friends. I knew I was falling for him but I wasn’t going to say “I love you” first. Not after how we met.
During an embrace before work, he says, “I think I’m falling in love with you.” I rejoiced inside. But didn’t respond. All I could do was smile. My mind was racing. Slowly I uttered, “you are?” Followed by, “have a good day at work!” The next day I asked him if he really meant that part about falling in love. He said, “Yes I did. And I don’t think I am anymore, I am. I did. I love you.” Of course I replied, “I love you” back. I’d never felt such meaning behind it.
I love you had come to be just a phrase after college boy. I literally thought he would be my husband. Naïve me. And I knew high school guy only said it because he was a hormone freak that just wanted to have sex after prom. That’s how you get all the girls to have sex with you after prom, right?
With my husband it was different. Everything was different. Coming up on our two year wedding anniversary, I still remember what it felt like when he got down on one knee, like the night we met. I have never known love like this. And I don’t know, if my husband were ever to go away, I’d find it again.
Posted in participation of “The Spin Cycle” over at SpritesKeeper. Be sure to check out everyone's unique spins!
I have to shamefully admit I've become hooked on yet another reality TV series. Tori & Dean: Home-Sweet-Hollywood on Oxygen. Now I do recall their series Tori & Dean: Inn Love but I never caught even one iota of an episode on that series. 
